girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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