i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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