There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Randomize
