The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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