I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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