Pappa wants mamma naked
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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