i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It's official drugs can't kill me
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
