Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
