He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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