I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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