I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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