I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
