is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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