member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
