What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You need a sexual gate keeper
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
