Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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