I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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