No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
