So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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