she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
