Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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