Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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