people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize