You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
