Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
