dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
