Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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