I hope mine doesn't look like that
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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