Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
