If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So gin and wine won't be happening again
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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