Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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