Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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