called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize