Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
