AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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