she was so not down for the gang bang
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just forgot I was standing up.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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