I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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