and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize