U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
