just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
