So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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