I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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