you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
