@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
