so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Did I show you my penis last night?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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