and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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