Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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