I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
