After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
