I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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