I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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