I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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