Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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