the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
