New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
