I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
