this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize