Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
