I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
