I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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