Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
