Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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